What Is Love?
by Soulhearts
Summary: Ayase is being punished by Kanou after he tries to run away. What will happen to the beloved little blonde? How far does Kanou go to stop his pet? And will Ayase's soul be left crushed because of it? WARNING: THIS IS M RATED. DO NOT LIKE, DO NOT READ.
1. When Things Can't Get Worse

This story totally starts out rough... It gets happier and fluffier, I promise!

**Disclaimer: I don't own this ect. ect.**

**_WARNING: HARDCORE YAOI._**Don't like, don't read... (ʘᴥʘ)

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Ayase Yukiya lay on the bed, his whole body shuddering as he looked down at his own self, legs splayed out before him, tied to ropes attached to the bed-frame. His entire body trembled weakly; he was afraid of what Kanou-san was going to do, and Ayase made no mistake in knowing that it would _hurt_. The young boy squeezed his eyes shut as two rivulets of tears made their way down the blonde's face.

"_Open your eyes Ayase!_" The man above him barked harshly.

Ayase did as he was ordered by Kanou, the man leering above him. The older man wore an expression of distrust and sadistic anger as he glared down furiously at his _pet_. The young blonde let out a strangled sob, terrified of the one above him.

"I'm _sorry_ Kanou-san…" Ayase cried pleadingly, still knowing that this would not prevent the sadistic man above him from putting Ayase through hell and back before he was satisfied.

Kanou did not reply to Ayase's futile attempts to pacify him. Instead, the older man left the boy momentarily before returning with an object in hand.

Ayase felt himself drain of all colour as he looked at the horrific object held in Kanou-san's hand. The paled boy immediately redoubled his efforts to bargain with the man, but again, to no avail.

"Before I _do_ insert this into that lovely hole down there," smirked Kanou devilishly, "Do tell me _why_ you felt it necessary to leave this building _without_ my permission?"

Ayase's throat became dry as he briefly recalled what had occurred earlier in the day.

Whilst cleaning, Ayase had happened to stumble across some of Kanou-san's paperwork. As the young boy sighed exasperatedly and shuffled it to a more appropriate place (such as the study), he noticed his name on the top one of the sheets of paper. The young Ayase had shuffled through the documents until he reached his paper, and then, he proceeded to scan through the text. Every chart and bit of data disastrously confirmed what Ayase already suspected to be true.

_Ayase would never be free of his debt_.

"Well?" Kanou demanded as he fiddled with the object in his hand.

Ayase's voice refused to comply and the older man quickly glanced down at him with a sour expression. "I see…" Kanou idly spoke. "Well, it seems to me that you have forgotten whom you _belong to!"_

"No Kanou-san, _please_, I beg of you! _Don't do this, please!"_

"Ayase," Kanou interrupted, sounding almost bored, "Did you know that you cannot get this particular model in Japan? That's right, I had to order this particular one in from overseas because it was banned from this country a few years ago… Something about it being too large…" Kanou spoke almost affectionately towards the object he was holding in his hand: _an oversized dildo_.

No words came to Ayase's parched mouth, and the boy oddly wondered if it was because he was shedding so many tears.

Kanou continued his one-sided discussion as Ayase listened in horror. "Your _punishment_ was a tossup between this or, creating a porno featuring _you. _But I know you don't want to be filmed, so I opted for this instead. Aren't I nice?" He smiled, but everything about Kanou's expression disturbed Ayase to the core.

A strange noise of distress came from Ayase's mouth, and Kanou again smirked evilly, the older man sitting down on the bed and poking Ayase's butthole with his middle finger.

"_Please Kanou-san, I'll do anything you ask of me. Please, just don't do this!" _Ayase squeaked as Kanou inserted another finger inside him and pushed the duo further into the young blonde.

"Ayase," the tall man tutted, "you gave up my leniency as soon as you tried to leave here."

Ayase didn't refute it. Those had been his intentions – to run away from his brutal owner, but the boy desperately wished he could have denied it.

"Don't worry Ayase, I know you won't break… well… I hope not." Kanou said as he began to insert the tip of vibrating object inside the young Ayase. Ayase squealed as he felt the monstrosity of an object move further inside him.

Even before the object had reached a quarter of the way inside him, Ayase was already pleading desperately for its removal. Kanou showed no relent however as he continued to push the thing harder into Ayase's hole. At half-way, Ayase was screaming. His insides… well… were they even there anymore? He could feel the thing vibrate strongly inside him and Ayase couldn't make heads or tails of the experience he was having. Drool ran down from Ayase's gaping mouth, as if he were a fish out of water, gasping for oxygen.

"_Kanou…san… No more… I beg of you!"_ Ayase just managed to splutter before he squealed again at the pain he was receiving.

Once again, Ayase's distressed begging fell on deaf ears. Kanou just continued to slowly push the vibrator further and further into the farthest reaches of Ayase's insides.

The final part was pushed in and the end of the _thing_ was framed nicely by Ayase's swelling butt. The boy gave an almighty scream as his back arched and his vision began to see dark spots. "_K-K-K-Kanou…" _Ayase whined breathlessly as the taller man peered down at his pet. "_Please… help…_" Ayase squeaked, the intolerable pain sinking further in. But Kanou just continued to glare lustily at the helpless pet he owned.

It was then, when Ayase thought things couldn't get any worse… they did.


	2. Say Nothing More

So Hi. Me again. This chapter isn't _quite_ as violent as the last but the real story doesn't start here. This is me just making Ayase suffer... (sorry Ayase fans I'm a bit sadistic). This chapter was actually inspired by two different hentai I watched... hehe sorry again... So, I promise (I hope anyways) that I can work on the plot a bit more next chapter. Until then:

**Warnings: Yaoi, blah, don't read don't like etc. (If you're here you should already know what to expect really...)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own. **

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Ayase's eyes fluttered open for the third time that day as he awoke _again_. The short, feminine, blonde craned his neck to better see the bloodied damage on the white sheets and the boy's legs. Blood – copious amounts of it – drenched the little bed that Ayase lay on in the spare room, and Ayase knew why.

Yesterday Ayase had managed to enrage Kanou by, stupidly, attempting to run away from the violent loan shark who was often mistaken for a member of the yakuza. Ayase knew that, as Kanou's property, he had no right to live his life until he was free of the debt that he owed Kanou. But it was that same debt that had _made _ Ayase run away in the first place. The young boy of nineteen, ever trusting, had righteously agreed to Kanou-san's terms when the man had told him what Ayase owed and a year ago the young blonde had promised to repay in full; promised not to run away until the entire debt was cleared, even if it took ten years, or twenty…

But just yesterday, Ayase had learned that he would _never_ be free of his debt and thus the series of events had occurred, leading to Ayase lying on a bloodied mattress, screaming in pain.

The sex toy was still firmly wedged into Ayase from the night before when Kanou had inserted it. The vibrator – apparently not legal in Japan – was definitely the largest thing Ayase had ever had inside him, but, doubling Ayase's torment, Kanou had decided that a _chastity belt_ had been in order as well. Kanou had snuggly locked the belt around his blonde boy (making sure the vibrator wouldn't be removed), thrown him in the spare bedroom and the menacing loan shark hadn't returned since. The blonde boy had screamed and screamed in the pitch black darkness of the room until his voice had become hoarse. He'd passed out from the vision blurring pain not only once, not twice, but three times since Kanou had left him all alone last night in the dark spare room. Now, after waking up yet again, the bloodied boy lay on the cot facing the wall unseeingly. All his fight was gone. All he wanted was for the pain to _stop_. Yet, he knew it wouldn't.

Ayase didn't know how long he lay on that bed, blood spewing out of him like it wanted nothing more to do with such a pathetic boy and every inch of his thighs was stained with his blood; the inside of the belt likely to also be covered in Ayase's semen. He didn't bother to scream anymore. He knew nothing would come out anyway. The pillow was soaked in Ayase's tears, older and fresh, and his face still had long-running trails from where the tears had made their way down and off his face.

_Pain, pain, go away… _Ayase chanted in his head, forgetting the rest of the nursery rhyme as another jolt of pain shot up his spine like acid fire.

It was then that an unexpected a stream of light suddenly blinded Ayase and the boy quickly shut his eyes to prevent sightlessness. A door had opened into the room and Ayase knew without doubt who would be standing in the entranceway.

"Ayase…?" A deep voice sent an unintended ripple of fear through Ayase's every muscle, but other than that, the blonde did not move. The tall man approached his property and possessively lay his hand on the slim waist that was Ayase's. Kanou assumed his blonde to have passed out yet again and, pulling out a key from his pocket, unlocked the belt that kept the toy in place. Ayase heard a click and the felt the belt removed. Then, quickly after, Ayase's eyes flung open as Kanou began removing the thing stuck firmly inside him, blood still gripping the edges of it.

Ayase's terrified eyes met Kanou's dark one's and the older man suddenly felt a pang in his chest, like he had broken something very precious and very dear to him. Ayase gasped as the object was slowly removed by Kanou's firm and steady hand. The boy's back arched as the final section, at last, became uninvolved with his body and, shortly after, Ayase broke out into heart-wrenching sobs. Every shuddering breath sent piercing arrows through Kanou's heart…

Kanou, lifting Ayase into his arms and carrying him from the room that had been the young boy's own living hell, silently allowed himself to finally feel the sorrow in his chest as Ayase clung to his shirt, tears rolling from the young boy's face. "I'm sorry Kanou…" Ayase sobbed repeatedly in nothing more than a hoarse whisper that barely became a sound. Kanou made no response, but his grip on Ayase tightened minutely as he walked them both to the bathroom.

When they arrived, Kanou placed Ayase up against the wall as he ran the bath. However, Ayase didn't stay sitting for long because his backside was in too much pain. Instead, the blonde silently slid to the floor, and only when Kanou turned around to see him did he notice the agony that Ayase had surrendered to without protest. Kanou's eyebrows pulled together in a frown as he reached for his dearly beloved Ayase and very carefully put him in the bath. Ayase whimpered softly as his aggressively stinging rear made contact with the lukewarm water.

"I'm sorry Kanou…" Ayase whispered yet again for the umpteenth time that day.

"Shush Ayase, don't say anything more." Kanou replied soothingly, however, Ayase completely missed the gentility in Kanou's tone, instead taking it as an order and immediately shutting his mouth. Kanou's large palm soon made contact with Ayase's soft, blonde hair and Ayase looked up at the man in bewildered surprise as he started stroking the soft, velvet hair tenderly. Although Ayase knew for a certainty that Kanou would never apologise for what he had done, he was a soul devouring loan shark, Ayase's big, blue eyes engaged the narrower black ones and Ayase understood that this was Kanou's apology to him.

After fifteen minutes of understanding silence between the pair, Ayase sneezed, and almost instantly, Kanou had whisked him out of the bath, thrown him in his pyjamas and snuggly placed him in the pair's large bed. It didn't take long for Ayase to fall asleep and after a meal, Kanou joined him.

"I'm sorry Ayase, I promise I won't do that again…" Kanou whispered into the sleeping blonde's ear lovingly.


	3. Will He Know?

Hello my fellow conspirators of Fanfiction! It is nice to be among you again. After a nice review, I was reminded that I should probably update this story (please keep reviewing and reminding me!) and thus I wrote after having inspiration in the shower this afternoon. I did write this entire thing today and** finally got started on the actual plot today**, so you have been warned that there is **no actual lemon in this** **chapter**... This is just plot. Also, I haven't checked or edited this so it's pretty raw. If you see any grammar or spelling mistakes in this, previous or future chapters, do not hesitate to let me know and I will fix them... (even if it's only one thing that bothers you...) OKAY:

**WARNINGS: NO LEMON THIS CHAPTER. PLOT ONLY. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE PLOT, FEEL FREE TO SKIP CHAPTER AND WAIT FOR LEMON CHAP. BUT YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING WHEN THAT CHAPTER COMES AROUND...**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, except my sadistic mind and this plot. **

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Kanou Somoku drummed his fingers rhythmically on the wooden desk at which he sat at with irritation. The tall, well-built loan shark was absent-mindedly looking through various loans and deals with people and small companies on his computer that needed to be attended, whilst waiting for the Kuba twins, though, more specifically the twin: Homare. Kanou hadn't really wanted to go into work today, but upon receiving a call from the Kuba twin, he had decided to. Homare had quickly announced that what he had to discuss was a matter of urgency that needed Kanou's immediate attention and then, had promptly given Kanou a quick summary over the phone.

Just as Kanou was about to flip open his phone and call the pair to see where they were, Homare burst through the office door followed closely by Misao. "Kanou-san!" Homare declared loudly, holding up some papers in his hand.

Kanou's eyes dark eyes almost narrowed into slits and he rested his chin on his neatly folded hands. "Those are the documents?" He asked, quickly cutting to the chase.

"Yes." Homare confirmed, placing the papers on Kanou's desk before taking a step back.

Kanou picked up the documents and spent a good twenty minutes thoroughly examining the contents before looking up at the Kuba twins once more.

"Are you sure?" Kanou growled in a sinister way, sending fearful shudders up both Kuba's backs. "Do they know?"

Misao was the once to answer this time. "Yes, we are sure. We triple checked all the details and everything matches up perfectly. However, no, we don't believe they know. It has to be coincidence, nothing more."

Kanou wasn't fully convinced as he glanced once again back to the papers in his hand, gripping them slightly tighter. In the back of his mind he gave a short chuckle, finding the hilarity in this otherwise completely serious situation that Kanou had found himself in.

"S-should we say no?" Miaso asked hesitantly, watching his boss very carefully with wary eyes.

Kanou deliberated for a moment before speaking again. "No… give them the deal. It will help us to better keep an eye on them. I don't want either of them running off, but… be careful, if they catch wind… there's no telling what might happen."

"Very good boss." Misao replied, reaching out for the documents that Kanou had now signed.

Kanou stood as Misao and Homare were preparing for their departure, when unexpectedly Homare turned around and met Kanou eyes. "What about him though? Will he know?" Homare asked seriously.

Kanou wanted to punch the man for asking such a question, but in the end figured a truthful answer couldn't hurt _too much_. "No, at least… not for now."

• .•*´¨`*•• ||~||~|| ••*´¨`*•.

The morning sun shone down harshly onto Ayase's pale skin and the young boy stirred with a stiff groan before allowing his eyes to flutter open. Ayase allowed himself a moment to gather his thoughts as he blinked blearily into the sunshine. Slowly, turning his head to the right, Ayase was startled to find Kanou-san missing from his usual spot in the bed. Instead, there just lay an empty white pillow and the blue eyed teen noticed that a half-hearted attempt at making the bed had already been made.

"Kanou-san must have already gone to work for the day…" Ayase mused as an unwanted rush of sorrow hit him. Shaking his head to dispelled unwanted memories, Ayase rolled over onto his side and carefully peeled off the blankets, bracing himself for the pain he knew he was about to subject himself to.

The blonde-haired boy carefully placed one foot, followed by the other, onto the plush carpet of the apartment and, holding onto the bed-frame, Ayase pushed himself upright into a standing position. A groan of pain escaped the boy's lips before he clenched his jaw and bit through the agony. The blonde managed to totter his way into the kitchen where he immediately got to work on starting his breakfast – miso soup, tamagoyaki, okayu, toast and green tea.

Ayase ate his meal at the coffee table in the lounge and the blonde watched the morning news and the chat show that followed before deciding that the house needed to be cleaned and nothing would get done if he didn't start now. Ayase cleaned away his dishes and then began pulling out the cleaning supplies from the spare room cupboard. When the young boy had first entered the room he was quickly reminded what had transpired here only hours before. Ayase's blood was now dried to the mattress and, though the sheets _might_ be salvageable with enough bleach, stain-remover and washing, the mattress itself would somehow need to be disposed of. Clearing away his dark thoughts, Ayase left the room and began work on cleaning all the hard surfaces in the house.

It was just after noon that Ayase heard the front door slam closed and the young, blue-eyed male poked his head out from the bathroom to see an annoyed expression lingering on the face of his owner, Kanou-san.

"Ah-! Kanou-san, welcome home! Would you like some lunch or have you already–"

Kanou shot Ayase a dark look, as though all that had happened today had been entirely Ayase's fault. Ayase's voice became stuck in his throat and he retreated at the look that Kanou-san had given him. "Ah… I'm sorry…" Ayase muttered almost incoherently, beginning to shuffle back into the bathroom.

Kanou sighed wearily as he looked down upon his younger companion and gripped his wrist before the boy was completely out of his reach. Ayase looked up in surprise as Kanou quickly plastered on as much of a smile as he could manage. "Lunch would be nice, thank you Ayase."

Ayase blinked twice, taking in Kanou's word with surprise which was followed by a: "_Ah, of course! I'll start immediately Kanou-san, what would you like?"_

Kanou replied that whatever Ayase made would be fine and then followed the blue-eyed beauty into the kitchen and dining area, promptly seating himself at the table.

As the older man watched his young lover, he was quickly reminded of Kuba-san's call and again, the day's events came back to him, laced with his own anxiousness. Yes, it was a good thing… he supposed, but what would be the next step? Honmare's words echoed in his head.

_"What about him though? Will he know?"_

No. Kanou wouldn't allow it. Such a thing _could _not be allowed to happen. Kanou knew that if such a thing were to actually transpire, Ayase would break.


	4. Shazai Ga Nai

_Hi, me again!_ First of all I want to apologise for this chapter taking so long, and another for it not being as good as it could be... I don't feel I wrote as well as I could have on this chapter. Also one last apology for it not having any lemon, but don't worry, that will happen next chapter!

Also, disclaimer: I own nothing and I certainly don't know how loan sharks file their clients, I made it up so... sorry if you are a loan shark and I got it wrong lol.  
Okay, enough talk,  
Please read away!

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What had started as a fully formed apology in Kanou-san's mind, quickly vanished into thin air as the loan shark looked down upon his tear-stricken blonde, collapsed on the floor in the dark-eyed man's study. Ayase looked so fragile and breakable as he looked up at his owner with such conflicted, confusing emotions displayed on the pale blonde's face. Yet, none of this mattered at all to Kanou as he once again directed his eyes to the documents scattered around Ayase's feet. Ayase let out a strangled sob and Kanou's quickly pulled himself out of shock and instead, he pulled his expression into one of absolute fury as he yanked Ayase out of the room and dragged him down the hallway. The day's event's briefly flashed through the loan shark's mind and he cursed himself silently for not foreseeing this!

• .•*´¨`*•• ||~||~|| ••*´¨`*•.

Several hours previous,Someya Kaoruko sat on the plush lounge in Kanou-san's office, the loan shark keeping her waiting per usual. As the okama patiently fixed her makeup, her favourite young, blonde employee dashed into the office panting with heavily laboured breathing.

"Ayase?" Someya queried with a slight frown upon her brows. "Dear me, what has you running in here at such a time in the morning?"

"S-Someya-san!" Ayase exclaimed with surprise. "Good morning–_!_" But before Ayase could finish his greeting towards the male transvestite, the man Someya-san was waiting for strode into the room impatiently, followed by his two lackeys – the Kuba twins.

"_Ayase!"_ Kanou-san bellowed before Someya made her presence known to the other men in the room.

"_Heh hem!_" Someya coughed politely, a tweak of a smile upon her red lips. "Good morning to you too Kanou-san, though, one would think it polite to offer their paying guest refreshment, or, at least refrain from yelling in their presence so early in the morning… It is very offensive to the ears you know."

Kanou turned away from the minutely trembling blonde and instead fixed his glowering eyes upon the other feminine male across the room. His dark eyes narrowed in revulsion as he told the two twins to take the okama's money and show him out immediately.

"Come now danna! Is that really anyway to treat someone you owe a favour to?" Someya smirked, a teasing twinkle in her mirth filled eyes. Again the loan shark's eyes narrowed and Ayase dashed over to Someya-san while the blonde still could. Someya flashed out an envelope from her long sleeve and smirked as Kanou's attitude changed from aggressive to mildly tolerable.

The taller man sat down with a heavy sigh and a grit of his teeth. "Is that it?" Kanou asked in a controlled tone. Someya made no mistake in noticing the flash of fear that appeared in Kanou-san's eyes as the loan shark directed his gaze towards the young Ayase as he spoke. With a short smirk, Someya thought that only Ayase could hold such influence over the intolerable man.

"Yes." Someya declared quietly as she too glanced in Ayase's direction.

Again Kanou-san gave a laboured sigh. "Kuba!" He barked loudly. "Escort Ayase back to the apartment and make sure you lock the door on your way out. I don't want to find Ayase missing when I return home today, because, make no mistake, _you_ will be held responsible if he is gone!"

Out of her peripheral, Someya noticed a shudder go up through Ayase's frame as Kanou brusquely threatened Kuba-san with a severe punishment for Ayase's absence and Someya quickly began to wonder if something had happened between the pair of them.

When Ayase was safely out of the room, Misao shut the door and Someya settled herself in the seat across from Kanou-san's desk. As Someya slipped the documents across the table, she queried Kanou on what happened between him and Ayase.

"It's just not like Ayase to be so… jumpy, I guess…" Someya concluded as she pulled her face into an expression of thought.

"No…" Kanou agreed, "I… I went too far… with him…"

"Hmm?" Someya's interests were quickly perked by this open gossip that Kanou was uncharacteristically willing to share. "How so do you mean?"

"He tried to run away from me the other day..." Kanou announced darkly.

"Oh, Kanou!" Someya gasped in horror, "You didn't…. You didn't do something awful to him did you?! … Oh… oh… dear… you did…! Oh, my poor Ayase-chan!"

"_It was his own damn fault anyway_!" Kanou growled, denying any wrong doing as Someya-san shook her head.

"_Oh,_ you _must_ apologise Kanou! Make it up to the boy or he will never trust you again! He's probably the only one who has _ever_ trusted you!"

Kanou's expression darkened again into a sour frown as he thought upon the okama's words. Kanou _knew_ in his twisted heart that what Someya was saying was completely true, yet… yet he didn't feel he had been the one at fault! Still… he had been so harsh… However, Kanou quickly made up his mind. He would apologise to his young blonde as soon as he returned home so that things could return to normal as quickly as possible.

• .•*´¨`*•• ||~||~|| ••*´¨`*•.

Ayase stood frozen in the study of the man who had brutally abused him less than two days ago, a document in the blonde boy's grasp. His eyes ran over the same line for the fourth time.

_Client number(s): 54637.281 \ 54637.282_

_Client name(s): Ayase Mariko \ Ayase Tomoko_

_Date (OBE): 14/04/14_

_Date (TBF): 14/04/15_

_HPC: 14/08/14_

_RG: Monthly. _

Ayase reread the line for a fifth time before his trembling hands dropped the page he was staring at. _Mariko? Tomoko? _This absolutely _couldn't_ be a coincidence, right? _Ayase's parents?!_ It couldn't be, they _were dead!_ Conflicting emotions flew around Ayase's fragile mind. Hope was there, but also a deep hate… A hatred towards his parents for abandoning him and leaving him in the situation that he was in now! Tetsuo never would have betrayed Ayase if Ayase hadn't been living with him! Ayase's life could have been dramatically different up until now if his parents hadn't….

"_NO!"_ Ayase screamed as loudly as he could as a single thought popped into the blonde's head. "_They… didn't leave me… they didn't… abandon me…"_ Yet no matter how many tears Ayase shed, he just couldn't seem to rid himself of that one terrible thought. Surely they'd loved him, right?

_Why…? Why had they left him?_

It was the only thing Ayase could think about. Why had they left Ayase with his aunt, uncle and cousin and gone without him? Why had his aunt told him they'd died in a car crash? Was he really an unwanted child? There were so many questions he wanted to ask!

Suddenly, everything came to a standstill as Ayase heard the door behind him creak open ominously. Turning around on the floor, Ayase met the dark eyes of his owner and the man who fucked him ruthlessly every night he could. In that moment, time seemed to freeze. Ayase looked up, and Kanou looked down, and then Kanou-san spied the documents at Ayase's feet, and Ayase _knew_ the trouble he was in.


End file.
